


Hail Mary, Forgive Me

by Clamat_Submissa



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Blasphemy, Bottom Louis, Daddy Kink, Double Penetration, Exhibitionism, Lent, M/M, Nipple Play, Oh, Religion Kink, Riding, Sex in a Church, Slight Dirty Talk, Slight Spanking, Slight feminization, Top Harry, also this does not in any way reflect how i feel about Christianity, because you might/will get offended, but to the extreme, holy water as lube, i am very respectful of the religion okay, i might be forgetting things um, if youre religious please dont read this, it's just a fic, like i said, mild bondage, religious!Louis, so be careful, so i apologize for the thingies, so if you're religious please don't read this, so um, this could be seen as dubcon, this was written for novena
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 11:18:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2307701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clamat_Submissa/pseuds/Clamat_Submissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is extremely religious and sacrifices sex for lent. Harry teaches him life lessons by fucking him in sacrilegious ways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hail Mary, Forgive Me

**Author's Note:**

> FIRST OF ALL, I would like to state that this fic in NO WAY represents my views of Christianity and/or Christians. This fic was written for the 1D Novena Ficathon. This was not written with the intention of insulting and/or offending anyone. HOWEVER, that being said, I am clear that this might and will offend people, so I apologize right from the start if any part of this fic offends you.
> 
> If you are very religious, or religious enough to get offended by religious themes, DO NOT READ THIS FIC. Please. I don't want anybody to be offended.
> 
> THAT being said, thank you for those brave enough to have proceeded. I'm sorry it's a bit (very) rushed, I tried my best but, well, I was very nervous and idk I felt twitchy throughout the entire fic so... yeah, I postponed it a lot. This was actually due for August 13, and I'm posting it over a month later I suck I'm sorry.
> 
> This is unbeta'd because the one who was going to beta this for me, Justin, couldn't (his computer broke), BUT STILL shout out to him for even offering ♥ And huge shoutout to Wade for coordinating this entire ficathon, you're cool yo.
> 
> My blog is here: http://tippytoeslouis.tumblr.com SO if you ever want to send me supportive, critical, hateful messages, feel welcome to do so there ♥
> 
> ANYWAY, depsite all of this, I hope you guys like it :)

Louis had always been extremely religious. He was born within a Catholic family, raised in a Christian community, and went to a Catholic school. Throughout his entire life he's always been told to praise God, worship Him like no other, love Him over anyone else, and to always be obedient to Him and His word. By His word, it meant no sex before marriage, no infidelity, no divorce, no cursing, no saying His name in vain, and such.

And Louis, throughout the years, felt close enough to God to even call him Father at times, and had done pretty good so far… except for the no-sex-before-marriage clause.

He had met Harry when he was 19 and the other lad was 21, and just by looking at him Louis knew he was not religious; and this was true, for Harry preferred the more realistic spectrum of agnosticism, but he respected Louis's beliefs as long as they didn't get too obsessed or, plainly put, crazy.

Louis was okay with that; Louis was free to believe what he wanted to believe and Harry calmed him down when he got too big-headed. It simply worked. And as for sex, well, Harry respected Louis's posture until on their first year anniversary Louis felt _ready_ and _so sure he was doing God's will_ because he was filled with the need of laying down and letting Harry mark him, claim him, as he did the same with him; he felt the need to consummate their love right there and then, so he did.

That night was the first of few, Louis only having been filled with that need and overbearing rush of lust only once a month or bimonthly, but every time was as good as the last; slow, passionate, loving, a bit rough, and deeply satisfying. So all in all, neither can complain.

Then, lent came in this year. They've been together for three years now, Louis being 22 and Harry being 24, and they've gone through lent together too many times. Since it's a time of sacrifice, repentance and rejoice, Louis always makes sure to reflect on what he's been mostly greedy with these past few months and sacrifice it for the month as a sign of obedience, respect, and love to the Lord, to God, to Father. When reflecting, he found out that he's been extremely greedy with something: sex. He's had sex with Harry too many times and it was a sin that he couldn't get enough of. He couldn't help but feel so dirty and ashamed a day after they did the deed, and Harry was always there to comfort him and whisper soothing words on his skin, "God loves you, babe, He loves you too much to stop for such a stupid thing as having sex and satisfying a human need."

Therefore, he had made a decision: for the entire period of lent, he was not to perform any act that could be considered even remotely sexual- including making out-, which was exactly forty days (approximately six weeks). It was the ultimate sacrifice in his eyes, and he was sure God would be happy and grateful.

However, Harry was not.

" _What?_ " Harry asked, flabbergasted.

"My sacrifice for lent is sex," Louis said, soft as ever; he was never really loud or spoke too much because, as the Bible says, the tongue was one of the greatest weapons a human could bear. "I will not do anything that could be considered sexual as long as lent is occurring- and who knows, maybe after that."

"But, why?" Harry was curious and very disappointed, to be honest, because he loved Louis so damn much and he loved his _body_ so damn much and it hurt.

"Because, Harry, I've been greedy!" Louis exclaimed, exasperated. "I've had sex too many times and it's a _sin_ until you get on your knees and propose marriage to me!"

"Marriage, whoa, hold on-."

"That is exactly what I mean," Louis's voice got lower, and a bit sad. "You're not even sure you're willing to make such a compromise as is marriage. Why should I give my all to a man who's still unsure about returning the gift?"

Those words hurt, to both of them; Harry for having to listen to them and Louis for having to admit them. With that, Louis looked at Harry, walked towards him and kissed his lips chastely. "I know that you're trying your best, and I know that you love me, but my compromise to God is above all. I cannot, and shall not continue to disobey Him like that." He grabbed his hands and gazed directly into Harry's eyes. "If you wish to bed me, you need to wed me first."

"Louis, I understand and I love you, but you'll miss it, babe," Harry informed. "It's ingrained in our system, it's a human need; the need of release, the need of that kind of intimacy, of that kind of pleasure."

"I will certainly not miss it," Louis said. "God has uttered His word, and His word is final. I won't have sex for it is not my place to do so. And there is nothing you can do to change my mind." With that, Louis walked away, leaving a very determined Harry behind.

Oh, he _will_ change his mind.

++

The first week of lent is always the hardest, in Louis's opinion. Especially with a huge sacrifice such as sex because, well, Harry was fucking _right_.  He really missed Harry kissing him softly, opening his lips with his tongue and wetly licking into him, littering kisses up and down his neck- sometimes biting into the skin roughly and soothing the mark with his tongue once Louis gasps in pain-, roaming his hands carefully up and down his body, as if he wants to remember every single detail of it forever… he really fucking missed Harry's hands on him in all of its senses, if he's honest; his hands on his cock, jerking him off fast and dirtily, his long fingers jamming inside of him and hitting his prostate dead on, his huge _cock_ inside of him, the feeling of Harry _being inside_ of him and feeling connected.

All in all, he really fucking missed Harry.

And Harry was being an asshole with the situation, really; he'd walk around naked- something he used to do sometimes but not _every single day_ -, press his boner on Louis's bum whenever they went to sleep, _and_ jack off loudly in the bathroom every night. It was driving Louis crazy and all he wanted to do, honestly, was choke Harry and then ride him into oblivion.

Which is exactly why he is doing this sacrifice. The fact that having sex with Harry is what's almost always on his mind whenever he's doing even the most trivial things, is something he cannot live with because it surfaces strong feelings of guilt and sadness. He feels- no, he _knows_ he's disappointing Father with his sinful thoughts and desires, and he would never want that. This had to stop.

Of course, Harry was not going to help. In fact, he only made matters worse.

It was the Thursday afternoon and Louis was joyful he hadn't had a single sexual thought or desire in the entire day. He thought he was finally overcoming his lust, and just a week in! He laughed happily at the thought and smiled to himself, looking down at the cup of tea he brewed himself a minute ago. It was hot in his hands, a warm feeling that always comforted him; it was suiting with his success. Louis blew over it for a while to cool it a bit before pressing an area to his mouth and welcoming the scalding liquid into his mouth with much gusto. He sighed and turned on the TV just as he heard the door to the living room opening, the sign that Harry had just arrived.

Once the curly-haired beauty appeared in the hall, Louis smiled brightly and softly greeted. "Hi, Haz. How was work?"

Harry melted at the sight and sound of Louis, too soft and beautiful. "It was good. I was able to break my baking record today; twenty-three cakes!"

"That's amazing, Haz," Louis congratulated and stood up, making his way over to the taller lad and kissing his cheek chastely. Harry groaned in frustration and chased after him yet only succeeded in getting one peck on the lips. "Lou, babe, please."

"Absolutely not, Harry," Louis remarked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Kissing always leads to _other things_ and you know it!"

"What if I could assure you it wouldn't?"

Now _that_ had Louis reeling. "How?"

"Simple," Harry said, getting closer to Louis, his hands immediately clutching to Louis's side. "I won't do anything you don't ask me to do."

Looking back at that Louis should've known; he should have fucking known that this was a trap. However, Louis was too caught up staring at Harry's lips- his perfectly plump and rose and sinful lips- to think rationally. Therefore, he just nodded hastily and murmured "okay" various times before he, himself, initiated the kiss. He literally threw himself at Harry, who thankfully caught him in time, and kissed him softly at first, almost hesitantly. The kiss was closed-mouthed, chaste, sweet, yet it ignited a fire within both Louis and Harry. While changing angles Louis ran his tongue shortly over Harry's lips, and Harry knows Louis enough to be sure that this was an accidental move but there was no way he'd let this opportunity pass. So he slipped his tongue inside of Louis's poorly closed lips.

Louis gasped softly and was about to retreat but once Harry's tongue rubbed over his own he was a goner. No longer was he thinking, just focusing on the feeling of Harry's moist tongue licking deeply into his hot mouth, exploring every corner, gliding over his teeth… it was too much. When Harry sucked his tongue, though, that's when it went spiraling down.

"Ugh, fuck me," Louis murmured hotly against Harry's lips and _oh, where the fuck did that come from?_ His eyes widened as he realized what he said and he started stuttering, quickly trying to take it back but it was too late. "No, wait-."

"As you wish, Lou."

Louis squeaked and moaned as Harry pushed him roughly onto the couch, taking his breath away in surprise. Harry took advantage of his loss of breath and plunged his tongue inside of Louis's mouth again, ridding him of whatever breath _did_ remain. Louis struggled for a bit, hesitantly kissing him back because he wasn't supposed to do this, he really wasn't, but his cock was already throbbing against his jeans and his hands were shaking in anticipation. And Harry knew exactly what to say, "Don’t worry, Lou; He won't be mad at you."

Under normal circumstances Louis would've chastised him because _what do you know about God?_ But this wasn't a normal circumstance, and Louis was so, so lost in lust and desire that he simply nodded because that's exactly what he needed to hear. With that his inhibitions were gone and he kissed Harry back with force, loving how Harry's hands roamed his body and scratched at the trembling skin. Harry started taking Louis's sweatpants off and groaned at noticing that Louis wasn't wearing any underwear.

"Fuck, you're going to kill me," Harry murmured hotly behind his ear as he quickly took off his belt and jeans. Louis shivered in anticipation and couldn't stop moving, constantly rutting his hips down onto the bed. When Harry noticed that he stopped for a moment and simply stared at Louis, his cock hardening at the sight of Louis's tiny fists clutching at the coarse material of the couch and his hips fucking down, crazily searching for his release. It was such a beautiful and sinful sight, really; Louis had beads of sweat run down his body, he was fucking glistening in sweat, and his mouth was open at first for pants and moans but was now in a silent scream as he came all over the couch, dirtily and exhaustingly. Harry didn’t even realize his hand had moved as if on its own accord to his cock and he was slowly jerking himself off to the sight.

He took his hand off of himself and got closer to Louis, whose eyes were actually crossed and who was too out of it to even notice. Harry turned him around and kissed down his neck to his chest and stomach, licking him clean. Louis whimpered and moaned a broken "Harry" when Harry dipped his tongue into his belly button and scraped his teeth over his hip bones. After sucking a few love bites in, Harry mouths down until he's planted his lips on Louis's thighs, just beside his balls. Louis's breathing heavily, of course; his body's literally trembling wherever Harry touches him, kisses him, marks him, _loves_ him. Once Harry finished teasing he dragged his tongue over Louis's balls before suckling them, one by one, tugging at the coarse skin and scraping the sack with his teeth thinly, dauntingly.

"H-Harry, Haz, Harry," Louis whined as Harry started sucking both of them inside his mouth, the hot and moist surrounding driving Louis crazy. "Harry, I c-can't, I can't-."

"Shh," Harry murmured once he stopped and then started licking the underside of Louis's cock, reveling in the way the smaller man squeaked and moaned at the same time. "Let me take care of you."

Louis was about to protest but once Harry's lubed index finger (when did he coat it?) started breaching his entrance he could do nothing but sputter, moan, whine, and reach out towards Harry's hair to tug on _something_. Harry chuckled softly at his boyfriend's reactions and started curling his finger inside of Louis, curving the digit into a hook and moving it repeatedly in search for Louis's prostate. Not long after, with Louis tugging at his curls rather harshly and adorable restraining himself from saying "God" by saying "Goodness gracious" (which technically isn't that different but Louis protested that it _was_ because it wasn't the same thing mentioning someone than mentioning a quality of theirs), Harry finally found his prostate and Louis all but screamed at the pressure.

"M-More, please, please," Louis begged, voice broken and inhibitions completely gone.

Harry complied and got both his middle and third finger inside of Louis, groaning at how tight he was whilst Louis whined at the feeling of being full. Harry took no time to fall into a pace, fucking into Louis both gracious and roughly. Louis's back arched with ever jab aimed at his prostate and was so, _so_ close to coming until Harry took them out and replaced them with his cock.

"Fuck," Harry groaned as he got inch by inch inside of Louis, whereas Louis was yelling "oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh". Once Harry was completely settled inside of Louis and the younger lad nodded to notify he was ready, Harry propped both of Louis's knees over his shoulders and fucking into him earnestly, relentlessly, roughly, amorously. Louis's head was resting to the side as he was completely silent with the exception of small whimpers and soft pants (Harry really fucking loved it when Louis got like this- so silent, a whimpering mess underneath him, giving himself to Harry with no hesitation and so full of trust).

It didn't take much, really, for both of them to come. For Louis what did it for him was Harry changing the angle and pummeling directly at his prostate, literally thrusting the breath out of him. For Harry, it was simply… Louis, with his rose cheeks and his body glistening with sweat and his hands curling in themselves and his face scrunched up in utmost pleasure.

Harry was happy and Louis was sated. Harry took his cock out and went out to bring moist towelettes, pecking Louis's forehead before parting to the kitchen. However, when he went to the room and found Louis hunched over the toilet, hurling, he knew this next week wasn't going to be easy.

++

Harry was, in fact, proven correct when in the next week Louis didn't look at him, touch him, speak to him, or even be in the same room with him for more than fifteen minutes. Louis submerged himself into church, going to mass every single day and locking himself into his room to read the Bible and pray to God for forgiveness. He'd been going to the Father and confessing every single day as well.

And it went on like this, for almost two weeks.

++

On Saturday of the fourth week of lent, bordering on the start of the fifth, Harry couldn't take it anymore and literally stalked Louis to the church (not because he didn't know where the church was- he prided himself in knowing as much as possible about Louis, and he'd gone more than a few times with Louis to mass- but because Louis went to a particular sermon every single day). It was nine o'clock at night when he'd arrived, a bit sweaty and still in a suit and tie with a stupid belt suffocating his hips, but he waited until the stream of people that had once entered started leaving, at ten o'clock sharp, until he actually walked in. He sat three rows behind Louis for half an hour, knowing Louis liked to pray and reflect upon the given sermon for that time, and the lights were already lowering, meaning that even the Father had left- which was not surprising, for it's not the first time the Father has left Louis alone in the church. Louis says it's out of kindness but Harry's adamant that Father Nick has less than holy intentions with Louis. Louis, of course, doesn't believe him.

Once Louis had finished and was about to pick up his leather-bounded Bible to leave, Harry hastily went to his side. Louis at first didn't register the company but at the touch on the shoulder it was hard to miss. Startled, he looked back and calmed his frantic heart when his eyes fell on the familiar face.

"My, Harry, what are you doing here so late?" Louis asked softly, his voice never going above _especially_ not in church. He checked his clock and frowned, not even remembering that he was mad at him. "It's almost eleven, Haz, you have work tomorrow."

"I don't care," Harry said and placed his hands on Louis's hips. He kissed him chastely on the lips quickly, savoring the soft whine Louis emits once he's pulled back. "Lou, babe, I'm so, so sorry. I love you so freaking much, and I'm sorry for what happened almost two weeks ago."

With the mention of the event Louis shifted uncomfortably, eyes fixed on the floor as he bit his lip. "Haz, it's okay, I've forgiven you."

"Y-You have?"

"Of course," Louis took Harry's hands in his own and squeezed softly. "I've been praying to God a lot and I've reflected on what happened, and I realized… you were just following a plea I stated. I said I wanted for you to… do what you did, so you followed through. You did nothing wrong."

Harry was honestly speechless. He knew that Louis was a wonderful person, but not _this_ wonderful. So pretty, so beautiful, so ethereal… Harry couldn't stand it, really. With his wispy hair under a black knit beanie, beautifully long eyelashes casting shadows under his cerulean eyes crinkled by the sides, naturally rosy cheeks, thin pink lips… he was too pretty for Harry _not_ to want him right there and then.

So he surged forward, instinctively, and kissed Louis fervently yet smoothly, wanting Louis to fall apart from the seams by a mere kiss.

"Haz, not here," Louis managed to breath out a bit before Harry slipped his tongue inside his mouth and Louis was lost for words.

And Harry knew he'd be cheating if he did what he had in mind to do, but there was something _so_ appealing of having sex in a church that Harry simply couldn't resist. And, well, he decided to do it.

There was a reason why Harry never played with Louis's nipples. In one of their few escapades Harry had tried to tease Louis by twisting his right nipple, and right there and then Louis lost complete control; he came hard, stars in his eyelids and all, and his eyes were a bit fogged up. It was a sort of tricky night, for Harry at that time had no idea what subspace was and how Louis got there by a simple rough touch to his nipples, and how _the fuck_ he was supposed to deal with Louis while being hard and ignorant. He had researched, after that, all of the necessary actions he needed to employ to properly take care of Louis, but Louis was always hesitant on giving that much of himself, so they never did it again.

However, with this little piece of information in mind, Harry planned to carry out his plan.

They were still kissing, feverishly, completely devouring each other, with spots of saliva dripping from the corners of their mouths when Harry tilted Louis's head up a bit in order to completely plunge his tongue inside- a move he knew made Louis weak to the knees. Louis nearly buckled and let out soft whines and moans into Harry's mouth, his tiny fists curling on Harry's t-shirt for purchase. Harry took this as an excuse for him to roam his hands over Louis's body, and when his hands got to Louis's abs he stopped right below his nipples, giving Louis a chance to back off. But Louis, already a bit dazzled, gave a slight nod- soft, always so soft- and moaned loudly. Harry then ran his fingers lightly over the clothed area of his nipples and Louis was a goner.

"Ah, goodness gracious, Harry!" Louis belted out, seamlessly falling on the wooden church bench, vulnerable and so, so hard. Harry only groaned at the sight and straddled Louis, taking Louis's and his own shirt off. After doing so and taking Louis's pant off, as well as his own, Harry didn't waste much time, quickly mouthing down until he's hovering over Louis's cock, breath hot and wet as he teases the younger boy. Harry hadn't even pressed his mouth completely against his cock, just barely having his breath ghost over the pulsing member, but Louis's already too lost, eyes seemingly fogged. Louis tried regaining full control of his capacities but he felt drunk, in a way; happy, please, sated, but greedy. So fucking greedy. He wanted, no, _needed_ more. Louis whined and rutted his hips the slightest bit, hoping that Harry would get the idea but alas, the older boy just wanted to _tease, tease, and tease_. Louis couldn't help it, so he moved his hands towards Harry's hair and pushed the elder's head directly onto his cock, wishing it would motivate him but Harry only chuckled and licked softly.

"Control yourself, babe, or I'll have to tie you up," Harry said jokingly but got serious when he swore he saw Louis's cock twitch. He was about to question but seeing Louis's cheeks, dauntingly rose, he _knew_ the younger boy had something for it. Harry smirked and rummaged quickly around the spared clothing on the floor and found his belt.

"Do you want that, Louis? Do you want me to tie you up?" Louis couldn't nod more hastily. Therefore, Harry, astonished, roughly grabbed Louis's hands and held, above his head, both of his wrists together in his left hand while with his right he secured the belt around them, effectively locking them. Louis moaned loudly at the new feeling when he tried to get it off and couldn’t and came right there and then, eyes scrunched up in pleasure as his body rocked involuntarily at the sensation of release.

Harry could only look down at Louis, beautiful Louis coming just from being tied up. It was absolutely breathtaking; he'd definitely do it more.

But his fantasy was yet to be completed, so he hurried up a bit; it wasn't always when you got the chance to fuck your religious, tied-up boyfriend in a church, after all.

Harry wanted desperately to get his fingers inside of Louis, but there wasn't any lube. As a quick solution, he coated his fingers with his own spit and started plunging them one by one inside of Louis, having the smaller boy whining and riding back onto them in a matter of seconds. Once Louis was prepped Harry wanted to proceed, but knew spit would make it hurt for Louis. He groaned at his unpreparedness and cursed softly under his breath; where the _fuck_ would he be able to find something that could ease his cock's entrance-?

Of course.

Harry took his fingers out of Louis and stood up, running, hard cock against flat stomach, towards the small plates hanging from the walls. Louis looked at him, confused and lost and the tiniest bit of fogged up. "Haz, weren't you-?”

"Yeah, yeah, just- _ugh_ , this is fucking _cold_ , shit," Harry hissed as he coated his throbbing, hot cock with holy water that remained in the basinets. The things he did for Louis, really.

Once completely ready, and sure Louis didn't see him, he made his way back to Louis and without wasting another second, he thrusted inside of Louis.

"Ah, Haz!" Louis threw his head back as his back arched and thighs started to tremble. Louis was so, so hot, and he was so hard already albeit having come barely ten minutes ago, Harry knew he wasn't going to last much.

Harry's groans and Louis's moans filled the sound of the air, along with the sound of skin slapping against skin, and Harry _really_ wanted to come, but he couldn't until Louis did first, because the clenching around his cock resulting from coming was usually what did it for him.

"How does it feel, Lou? Being fucked in a church," Harry groaned softly in Louis's ear as his hips kept snapping forward, nipping the sweaty flesh below as Louis tensed up a bit.

"Harry, Haz-".

"Y'know what I used as lube?" Harry cut him off, going faster and faster by the second, making Louis gasp and pant and _whine_ too desperately, a sign that he was close to coming. "Holy water."

Now _that_ woke Louis from his state because he just realized _he was having sex in church_ and _he was tied up_ and _Harry used holy water as lube_. He started hitting Harry's chest, demanding he get off of him right now even if his body really didn't want to let him go and he deep down wanted to come so badly.

Yet Harry was relentless, of course; his thrusts were now sloppier but rougher, slamming right into Louis's prostates with ease. Not long after, Louis came, as did Harry, the former with the punitive, heart-wrecking words from his boyfriend: "An agnostic is fucking the holiness into you, oh, the irony!”

Louis didn't wait for Harry to clean them up, or completely pull out, or _anything_ and quickly grabbed his clothing and ran into one of the acolytes' room, sobbing in shame and disgust at himself.

++

It was funny how things worked, really, because Harry honest to God (no pun intended) expected Louis to act like last time and evade him for some time. However, with Louis being fucked by him while bent over Father Nick's desk it's fairly obvious that it didn't go like last time.

Louis blamed himself, really, he did, because if he weren't so weak he might be able to resist every single one of Harry's advances- _even_ the cruel taking advantage of his sensible nipples. So Louis decided to chastise himself by forcing himself to act normally and interact with Harry as if nothing had ever happened.

He talked to Father Nick constantly, to ease his agony, his shame, his guilt; but Father only looked at him with sympathetic eyes and said, "I know what it's like to lust when you can't", and with a comforting pat on the shoulder he left Louis alone for him to reflect on his actions in his office, barely three days after _it_ had happened right in that church.

Harry knew where he'd be, he knew everything about Louis; he knew that when things got much too serious he went to Father Nick (Harry would bet anything that he wanted Louis like a little kid wanted chocolate) in search for some consolation and guidance. Therefore, he went over and tried to talk things out with Louis.

Harry honestly can't tell what happened that went from the two of them fighting (softly, always softly with Louis) to them fucking, but he didn't complain, not at all.

"H-Harry, faster, please, harder," Louis pleaded as his cock shifted both painful and pleasurably against the coarse, unforgiving wood and horrible angle, wanting to quicken his release because he knew what they were doing was wrong, of course he knew, but his resolve was now practically broken. He'd already broken his sacrifice for lent from the first week, so why did it matter if they had sex once more?

Harry did as Louis asked and changed the angle a bit to facilitate his constant abuse to Louis's hole, exerting and straining his muscles but that change had Louis screaming and gripping the corners of the desk as his body rocked back and forth from the intense jabs, so the small pain was worth it.

"More, Haz, more, please!" Louis had tears streaming down his cheeks now, knuckles white from force. Harry hesitated for a bit because _how_ was he going to give Louis more? It's not like he had two cocks or something… Harry foolishly thought his fingers would suffice, so after coating them with lube (he had a feeling something like this would most likely go down between them, so he brought a portable packet) he inserted two of them. The burn for Louis was wonderful, stimulating, and it had him howling in pleasure with pants of "yeah, yeah!" while Harry, with the increased tightness felt out of breath. For a while, it was enough; he fucked Louis with both his cock and two fingers, hoping that'd be enough for Louis, but, of course, it wasn't.

Louis was close, though; he knew it. "C-Close, more, _more_ ," Louis's voice was so broken it sounded like a faltering melody, making Harry's heart thrum and thrum. Harry just wanted to _please_ , Louis was _so pretty_ he deserved to be pleased.

Harry looked around the room frantically, searching for _something_ he could fuck Louis with. And eventually he found it, next to Louis's red bum; a black, approximately seven inch cross, made out of wood and was probably held and kissed by Father Nick whenever he prayed.

Without giving it much thought (he was fucking Louis, who in his position would be able to think?) Harry took it, coated the top generously as to not cause much pain to Louis- even though the smaller lad had a knack for it- and, when Louis started demanding for more, he nudged the tip against Louis's irked rim, softly pressing it inside of Louis along with his cock. Louis was silent throughout, his chest heaving up and down to a great extent, his hands gripping even tighter- if possible- the desk.

"This okay?" Harry asked and realized that Louis didn't really _know_ it was a cross, but he wasn't going to preoccupy himself with that concern when Louis was simpering "yes" so softly, so sweetly against the wooden desk. The fit was tight, extremely tight, to the point where it could even be a bit uncomfortable, but once Harry managed to set some sort of a rhythm after the third thrust Louis was moaning his name, pushing back against him slightly.

"Ah! Harry, Harry, I'm going to- _oh_ , yes, there! - I'm going to come," Louis said between breaths when Harry found his prostate and dragged his cock and the cross against that one point. Not long after they both came, Louis with a soft whine and Harry with a loud groan.

When both of them calmed down from their high Harry took both the cross, slick with come, and his cock out of Louis, who was idle other than for hissing at the slight pain. Harry nudged his head to the left and willed Louis's eyes closed softly with his fingers, and with a soft order of "suck" he pressed the come-slick cross inside of Louis's willing mouth, making him lick it clean.

Louis did his job earnestly albeit a bit tiredly. After he finished Louis opened his eyes to see the artifact, and his chest tightened up when he saw it was a cross.

He gasped and slapped Harry's hand away, standing up quickly. He looked at Harry with tear-filled eyes, betrayal written all over his face. He tried to leave hastily but Harry stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

"Is it so wrong to have sex, Louis? Is it?"  Harry exclaimed. Louis's back was still facing him as Louis answered in a monotone voice:

"Why do you do this to me?"

The question rang unanswered in the air for a while. "You weren't complaining when I was fucking you with it."

Louis then turned around, now fully crying. "Because I didn't know it wasa _cross_ , Harry!" For the first time his voice was a bit elevated, so he willed it to lower. "Don't you respect me and my religion enough to not do such foul things?"

"Louis, you had a part in this too, you know," Harry reasoned, a bit angry Louis was blaming everything on him. "This was entirely consensual."

That, too, rang unanswered in the air, and with that Louis left the office, naked, bare, vulnerable, guilty, _and ashamed_.

++

Louis's resolve officially broke after that.

No longer did he care about his "sacrifice" for lent (emphasis on the quotation marks, for he did not sacrifice and instead _indulged_ ) or how he might be disappointing God. Of course, he still loved and cherished Him above all, but he felt as if he were being sucked into this cold, dark pit of unresolved issues and doubts he, himself, was afraid to address.

Louis made a plan, and he almost followed through with it; he would use this week not to focus on his sacrifice per se but to focus on reflecting on his behavior, on God. He realized that he while on lent he focused too much on what he was sacrificing and not on what he was supposed to be focusing on, which was to devote himself entirely to Father as much as he could. This was his final week, and although he always gave himself to God he decided to give a thoroughly good presentation of how he was supposed to be living this period of lent.

Louis's only action these days was to wake up, pray, eat a healthy breakfast (not before thanking God, of course), read the Bible, ponder on what the verses he read were about, pray to God for whatever lesson he learned or what he was reminded of, eat lunch (praying to God beforehand as well, though), read the Bible some more, greet Harry when he came home, eat dinner with Harry (praying before eating too; Louis was always humbled when he did so alongside Harry, because even though the Cheshire lad didn't pray with him he always looked down respectfully and waited until he finished to eat as well),  clean up and do the dishes if it was his turn to do so, read the Bible and pray some more, and after, go to sleep.

It was all normal, ordinary, really, except for one thing: Louis and Harry slept in different beds, the former staying in their normal room whereas the latter slept in the guest room. Louis hadn't kicked the elder man out of their room but Harry thought it was necessary for them to be apart; he desperately wanted Louis to catch onto something, something really important, a life lesson even. He was just… teaching it in a way that wasn't exactly orthodox or appropriate. Or respectful. Harry knew that he was being extremely blasphemous, and that his actions and coercions were the epitome of disrespect. Sometimes, though, with Louis, his mind just jumbled up and he felt like scatterbrained, unconscious yet conscious of his actions, as if in the in between of reality and a subconscious reality. He didn't think things through, basically, and the repercussions were there with the sinking feeling that washed over him when he saw Louis walk away from him five days ago, shoulders slumped in a clear motion of disappointment.

 _Just one more_ , Harry swore. One more. That was all that was necessary. However, this one is being thoroughly planned ahead of, so he has time to actually be completely aware of his actions. Harry knew this would be the last straw, and if Louis didn't catch on to what he was trying to say this could truly be the end of their relationship. Harry didn't know why the mere thought had his chest closing up and his heart beating too quickly, and his hands twitching in desperation (well, he knew, he just didn't want to acknowledge it).

But Harry trusted Louis, trusted his capacity and ability to see through every stupid, paradoxical, idiotic and _stupid_ gimmick Harry thought up- and he was sure Louis would forgive him, for the younger boy had a much tolerant and patient attitude than even God himself in the Old Testament.

It was Thursday, and Louis was reading the Bible when Harry walked into the study, adorned with lit scented candles that promoted peace and tranquility. Louis looked up at Harry and smiled softly, his right hand resting upon the sacred book with little to no force as he examined his boyfriend with a curious yet open expression. "Hey, Haz, what's up?"

Harry was a little startled, if he's honest; he didn't expect Louis to treat him as warmly as he always did, especially not after went down last week. Louis always surprised him; he was literally perfection. "Hey, Lou, I was thinking if I could join you?"

At that Louis's eyes widened but nevertheless he nodded, a wide grin spreading on his lips. "Of course, you don't even have to ask. Father always welcomes however is willing to enter."

Harry chuckled softly and sat down next to Louis on the floor. He kissed Louis's tanned shoulder, visible from the huge sweater he had on slipping down the smooth skin, and looked over his shoulder. The text seemed familiar to Harry, who had read the Bible countless times in order for him to get to know better the religion his dear boyfriend followed. "Psalms?"

Louis's entire face brightened at that, his eyes were simply sparkling. Harry should do that more often; he melts on the inside every time he sees Louis like this, or in any way, really. "Yeah! Just starting actually."

Louis looked back and at just the first verse his heart clenched. "Blessed are those who do not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers," Louis mumbled, the sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach a bit overwhelming for a moment. He felt without breath for a moment, his hands were trembling and his bottom lip was wobbling. He looked up at Harry with sad eyes and asked a question he deep inside already knew the answer to: "Harry, do you think that, by what we're doing, I'm being… wicked?"

Harry stared at his face and searched for something, anything that could tell him Louis was overdramatizing… but no, Louis was actually, genuinely concerned. The thought had Harry want to hug him and cuddle him and make all of his worries disappear- even if he was contributing to one of them. So Harry did not answer immediately but instead flipped through the pages carefully until he found the verse he was searching for: Psalms 37:4. "Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

Louis looked at him, confused. "What do you mean by that?"

"Lou, don't you get it?" Harry asked and then grabbed Louis's face in his large hands and caressed his cheeks softly. "Babe, the Bible itself is saying, in that verse, that if you're devoted to God and love and cherish and praise Him, He will give you what you most desire."

Harry then leaned in slowly until his lips were barely a few centimeters apart, and Louis gasped softly as his eyes peered into Harry's own, and he got lost. "What is it that you most desire, Louis?"

"You," Louis, always so honest, answered. He could never resist Harry; these past few weeks proved it more than enough.

"Then…"

"Then I can have you," Louis murmured and immediately kissed Harry with such strength, such force, it made Harry dizzy. His hands quickly went to grip Louis's shoulders and steady him, for the younger boy was even trembling from the sudden emotion and excitement. They kissed languidly, sweetly, yet desperately, Harry quickly licking him open and literally taking his breath away. Louis always fell apart like this, and soon enough he was unkempt and soft, giving himself to Harry and handing him the dominance- as most times. Louis started leaning back, expecting Harry to follow and get on top of him but Harry didn't. Louis broke the kiss and looked at Harry curiously, but his lover didn't respond. He only lowered his hands to Louis's arse and with surprising strength placed him on top of his lap, Louis now, for the first time, due to their positions, a bit taller than Harry and was the one who had to lean down to kiss.

"Harry, I don't-."

"Ride me, babe," Harry murmured against his neck and then nipped at it.

Louis gave a high whimper but drew Harry's head away from his neck. "B-But, Haz, I don't know what to do, how to do it, I've never-."

Harry kissed him and shut him up, then tilted his head upward so that his lips were against Louis's ear, and he whispered softly: "Just slick my fat cock with lube, position it directly below your tight pussy and sit down on it."

And, _oh_.

Harry had always thought this would be a kink for Louis. He'd found a pair of panties when putting the washed clothes in the dryer and knew they were Louis's (there was no way Louis would be cheating on him, and much less with a _girl_ ). Louis loved taking baths with scented bath bombs, and shaved completely, put lotion on every night, wore makeup… and, of course, that wasn't necessarily a "red flag" for craving feminization, but when Harry added the fact that when they first had sex Louis had pleaded "Haz, call me pretty, I like feeling pretty" with the fact that once while watching TV Louis had asked "Harry, don't you think that girls are extremely pretty? They have this… essence that guys don't normally have, because of their bone structure or hormones or whatever… I wish I had a girl-esque type of prettiness." he deduced this should be a perhaps deep and hidden desire for Louis.

It was a long shot, really, but by seeing how Louis's entire body twitched in excitement and anticipation at that only word he knew he was right.

Louis's eyes seemed fogged, they tended to fog up whenever they did anything remotely sexual because Louis was losing his _mind_ and that gave Harry chills. With a nod of agreement (and/or acceptance), Louis kissed Harry brusquely and quickly pushed him down to the floor. He hastily unbuttoned his shirt and unbuckled his pant and then looked down at Harry's semi-hard cock forming a tent in his boxers. Louis licked his lips, something that drove Harry _crazy_ , lowered his boxers and, without hesitation, slowly but surely took all of Harry in his mouth.

"Fuck!" Harry groaned at the feeling of Louis's wet, slick mouth around him and tried _so hard_ not to fuck his mouth. That was for another time.

Louis, due to inexperience, could only take Harry fully in the first time; after, he just took in his mouth as much as he could and the rest, the base, he took in his hand. He choked a few times because Harry was _huge_ but nevertheless he kept on. Soon enough Harry was fully erect, and it was then that Louis looked up at Harry, waiting for him to tell him what to do.

Harry placed his hand in Louis's hair and tangled his fingers in the strands softly. "Now, get the lube and slick me up. After, you're going to lube two of your fingers and prep your tight pussy for me. Can you do that, baby?"

Louis couldn't nod quicker than he did and crawled towards the corner of the room to get the lube, his huge jumper falling right above his bare arse (Louis believed that when talking to God he must be as close to being naked as he could, for it is how He brought him to the world). Harry slowly jerked himself off to the sight but took his hand off once Louis came back with the bottle of lube in his hands. Louis scooped a generous amount onto his hand and lathered Harry's cock with it, making sure to cover it fully, somehow knowing this position was going to hurt more than the usual missionary one. After, with the remaining lube, he coated his fingers and a bit shyly got the first one in.

"Oh," Louis gasped softly. If he was honest, he's never fingered himself. He's only had Harry do it, because, well, Harry was usually the one who incited the sex. Without Harry he'd never had any carnal or sexual desires, so he's never masturbated because it was a sin. Not that it really mattered anymore.

At first Louis took some time to get adjusted to the new feeling; his finger was too short so it didn't go as deep as Harry's did, but there was something so _dirty_ about fingering himself that had him moaning and gasping as if this were the best thing ever. Louis was a bit scared of inserting the next finger, Harry knew this, so he latched onto Louis's hair with his hand once more and ran his fingers through it comfortingly, scratching behind the ears endearingly. "Come on, darling, you can do this; get another one in for me."

Louis moaned and inserted the tip of the second one. Harry took his hand out of his hair and grabbed onto Louis's arse cheeks roughly, separating them with one and with the other pushing Louis's other finger inside. A high, loud whine stumbled out of Louis's lips, now, and Harry circled the rim with his own fingers. "Mm, bet you're so wet for me right now, such a wet, tight pussy, just for me."

Harry now peppered kisses up and down Louis's neck as he grabbed Louis's wrist with his hand and controlled its movements, fucking Louis with Louis's fingers, as strange as it sounded. And Louis was loving every bit of it, his head falling onto Harry's junction as he breathed and pressed open-mouthed kisses to the bare skin there.

Soon enough he felt ready, following the intrusion of a third finger. So Harry helped Louis align himself above his cock and dragged Louis down gently by the hips. Louis's head was still burrowed in Harry's shoulder, so the latter straightened him so that the angle wasn't as weird _and_ for the image of Louis literally sitting on his cock.

Louis moaned and even wailed a "oh, goodness" as he came to a halt. Once fully seated he, out of pure instinct, started doing figures of eight, trying to fully adjust to Harry's cock. It had Harry groaning and grab onto his hips even tighter, even fucking into him once, which had Louis jumping a bit and whining.

"W-What do I d-do now?" Louis asked breathlessly, waiting for guidance, always waiting for guidance.

"Jump up and down, fuck yourself with my cock, princess," Harry said between gritted teeth. Louis was a fucking menace, really.

Louis followed through; at first very hesitantly and cautious, as if testing it out (it made him look so innocent, Harry almost flipped them over and fucked a "hallelujah" out of him… almost), but after he seemed to gain confidence and was fully jumping up and down on Harry's cock, actually screaming instead of the usual soft, low pants.

"You're being such a good girl for me, so pretty for me," Harry grumbled and couldn't resist anymore, and started fucking up into Louis. Louis deterred for a bit and even slumped a bit because Harry was hitting _right_ at his prostate and he almost _couldn't_. However, Louis continued on, even setting a rhythm along with Harry's thrusts as he mumbled "pretty, pretty". Louis almost stopped, though, when Harry tacked on, "only me, right?"

Louis paused for a moment, knowing Harry had a reason for saying that, specifically, but not realizing what. "Yes, yes, only for you, g-go-goodness.”

 _So close_.

"Only for me, not for God, or anyone else, right?" Harry added and _oh_ , _that's_ what he meant.

At that Louis fully stopped but Harry kept fucking into him relentlessly, so he was breathless and overwhelmed and he felt _so good_. "H-Haz, don't-."

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth," Harry said in between groans, muscles exerting at the force with which he fucked into Louis. "Psalms 46:10."

Louis's eyes widened at the commentary and mewled, feeling so close to his peak. "Harry, Father wouldn't-."

" _I_ am Father, Louis," Harry gritted his teeth as he said it with an even, angry tone. "Praise _me_ , adore _me_ , exalt _me_."

Louis was now full on sobbing at the abuse of his prostate and he scratched Harry's chest. "Harry, please, _please_ , don't-."

He was cut off by several slaps directed at his arse cheeks. "It's Father, not Harry."

"Harry-." He sobbed loudly as well as moaned at receiving yet another set of slaps. Harry was still pounding into him and it felt like _too much_ , he felt without breath, overridden with pleasure and it felt so, so good.

"Harry," _slap_. "Please, Harry, please-." _Slap, slap, slap_.

"Father, Father!" Louis finally exclaimed, defeated. "Oh, God, Father, please!"

At that Harry's ears peaked up because _fuck, he did it_. Harry honestly didn't expect Louis to do it, but he _did_ and he feels both amazing and horrible at the same time. "That's it, baby girl, just like that. Who's fucking you so well?"

"Y-You, Father, _god,_ this feels amazing, fuck," Louis whimpered and actually fell on Harry sobbing, exhausted and ashamed. And like that it was as if everything Louis, out of fear, had been restricting himself from doing just came naturally to him. Harry planted his feet on the floor and kept fucking Louis until the younger lad whined and came while screaming "fucking _hell_!” Harry, of course, came after.

Louis's come was over both of their chests and even reached Louis's chin, but Harry's was currently leaking out of Louis's hole. The latter whined in discomfort and wiggled his bum as if that would stop the leakage. Harry used what strength he had left after that workout and turned Louis around, his bum now in front of Harry's face. Louis instinctively nuzzled Harry's crotch as Harry, after having a few drops of his own come hit his face, rubbed the tender, red flesh of his cheeks and kissed the puckered hole. "So, so wet, darling, so wet for Father."

With that he pressed his tongue flatly over Louis's hole a few times and gathered all of the come that had spilled. Louis was whining softly, murmuring "Mm, Father, more,", so Harry stretched Louis's hole with both of his thumbs and delved his tongue inside, scooping with it all of the come still inside of Louis. Louis's hands were now fisting the sheets hard, knuckles white as he mouthed at Harry's crotch and moaned.

"God, _yes_ ," Louis hissed and pressed his bum against Harry's face even more. Harry moaned and started fucking Louis's hole with his tongue, bobbing and shaking his head to give him the utmost pleasure. Louis was sobbing once more, but he was quieter now, and his moaning and begging turned into incoherent babbling.

Louis came for the second time that day not long after. Harry didn't care about the mess at the moment, so he pushed Louis off of him gently and right there and then, on the unforgiving, cold floor he slung his arm around Louis's waist and, alongside him, went to sleep.

++

"I understand why you did it, now."

It was the first thing Louis had spoken to Harry five days after the last incident occurred. Louis was too peaceful to hold grudges, so he didn't outwardly reject or insult or ignore Harry; he kept on living his life normally, he just… evaded being with Harry any more than what was necessary. But Harry knew it wasn't because he hated him but rather because he was trying to figure out _why on Earth he would do something like this_.

"Do you, now?" Harry asked from the kitchen counter. He was, after all, preparing them both tea before Louis walked in.

"Yes," Louis said, his voice now longer and clearer than it had ever been. "At first I was really confused, because you've always been so respectful towards me and my religious beliefs. All of these _blasphemous_ acts didn't go with who you are."

Harry smiled and nodded a bit, going closer to Louis and holding both of his hands. "Yeah?"

"So," Louis took a deep breath and looked at Harry straight in the eye. "I figured it out."

"What did you figure out, lovely?"

Louis responded with a small, chaste kiss and a squeeze of hands. "I can love and praise God, but I shouldn't make my entire life revolve around him. My interests and my beliefs and what I think is right and/or wrong shouldn't always depend on what religion has taught me but rather how I feel."

Harry nuzzled his head in Louis's neck and peppered the area with comforting kisses. "Yeah, love."

"Of course, that doesn't mean I should reject my religion or God, nor does it mean I should kill someone because I feel mad at them."

Harry laughed loudly at that last comment as Louis giggled. They both kissed for a while before the tea kettle started whistling loudly. Harry took it and started serving them both tea.

As he handed Louis his, the younger lad stopped his wrist with a soft yet warning touch. "Please don't ever disrespect my religion like that again, even if to prove a point. There are many easier, more productive and lovelier ways to give me a life lesson, babe."

Harry nodded seriously and kissed the corner of his mouth lightly. "I'm sorry about that. I won't do it again."

Louis nodded. "I forgive you, love."

They made their way to the sofa and turned the telly on. After a few minutes of watching a horribly boring show Harry side-commented something that threw Louis off: "What do you think about having a spring wedding? I think you'd look lovely covered with petals."

Louis threw himself at Harry, wide-eyed and grinning, laughing boisterously at his boyfriend- now fiancé- and his strange way of proposing. And yeah, maybe God could be mad at Louis and Harry for all of this, for what happened, but Louis was now happy, elated, cheerful and felt _so full of life_ , like everything suddenly had meaning and he knew now which way to go… and if God wants something from everyone is to be happy. So he's sure He'll forgive him.


End file.
